A Spoonful of Sugar 2006, No. 6
Lessons from the Ring
By Niña Terol
Paul and I started boxing recently, after noticing our growing waistlines and, subsequently, resolving to get on the fitness trail yet again. A boxing gym had opened here on our street just a few months ago, so now we have NO EXCUSE not to work out. The goal: to be fitter, firmer, and relatively flab-free by Christmas.
Now I had never been a boxing fan. Just like many of my peers (before Pacquiao fever took over the country) I used to think that boxing was for brawlers, that it was the least of the martial arts--that it wasn't even a martial art at all.
Through the years, I'd been exposed to different kinds of martial arts--I even competed for judo in college--and I had noticed that all martial arts have a combination of "form/kata/anyo" training, sparring and promotion, and emphasis on the mind/body balance. To my (limited) knowledge, boxing didn't have any of these components; it was something that any bastard on the street could get into.
My recent exposure to boxing is showing me that there is a lot of discipline and focus that goes into this sport, too. It's not just for anyone who wants to get his fists mashed, and it's certainly not for the weak-willed. One needs immense concentration, focus, discipline, and that delicate balance of mind, body, and spirit. And it's not just a sport! It truly is an art form.
While training today, I noticed three very important things that I think I'd like to take with me out to the real world:
1. You need to pause often to catch your breath.
Very often, we go through life without even stopping for air. In boxing, each round is timed at three minutes, and there's a mandatory time-out lasting for 30 seconds in between each round. To those of us who are used to texting, talking, or eating in just three minutes, one round isn't long enough. But when you're in the ring, sweating buckets, and straining to make that last punch, every minute is torture, and every second of rest is precious.
I know it's impossible for us to take mandatory breaks every three minutes--but think of what regular rest periods can do for you! It might even boost productivity instead of hampering it.
2. You need to relax in order to punch harder.
It's when I clinch my fists, or contract my forearm, too tightly that my punches come out weaker. When this happens, my trainer reminds me to RELAX...
What happens in boxing is most probably what happens in real life: the harder we try, the less effective our efforts become. In most cases, we do our best work when we don't try too hard. We must know our limits, know what we can do--and know when to take a break!
3. You need to empty your mind in order to perform better.
During my first mitts session, I was very, very distracted--thinking of my to-do lists when I get home and of those reports that I need to finish before 8AM today. But in spite of my best efforts, my punches weren't as loaded as they had been on Sunday, I was losing my footing, and my timing was so off. There was something wrong.
It was only after I had taken a break and resolved to focus on my session that I progressed in my workout. I realized that multi-tasking is for many things, but it is certainly not for boxing--and certainly not for me if I want to keep my sanity. I've got to take things one at a time--for there may be many things to do, but there's just one of me!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
3 Man Show
Roy, Ian, and Mik Veneracion
Mag:net Gallery ABS
3-31 October 2006
3 Man Show by the Veneracions at Mag:net
Father and sons Roy, Ian, and Mik Veneracion exhibit their individual works at Mag:net this October. Entitled 3 Man Show, the exhibit features their recent works on canvas and runs from October 3 to 31, 2006 at Mag:net ABS-CBN located at The Loop, ELJ Center, ABS-CBN Compound, Quezon City.
For his part, Roy Veneracion exhibits recent works representing what the artist terms as syncreticism—a merging of abstraction and figurative imagery, superimposing and bringing together traditionally opposing domains in a singular composition. In the work entitled Logic of Nightmares (mixed media on canvas), Roy Veneracion concocts visual allegories for contemporary imperial domination from associative images. Set against an inchoate backdrop of abstraction are a cast characters culled from pop culture, history, and contemporary events: Superman, Osama Bin Laden masquerading as an Assyrian God, the now-nonexistent Twin Towers of the September 11 attacks, revolutionary Katipuneros, cowboys and Indians. In Gabi ng mga Bituin sa Munting Japan ni Vincent, Roy Veneracion recalls a recurrent image in his previous works: the unmistakeable visage of Vincent Van Gogh, perhaps an unconscious reference to the latter’s fierce expressionism and introspective vigor which the artist draws inspiration from.
Painter-musician-actor Ian Veneracion, in contrast, exhibits recent works rendered solely in abstraction: inchoate, viscuous shapes flowing into space, space merging into matter. The translucence and luminiscence of the works speak of the artist’s pursuit of the intuitive and the formal in his works.
Mik Veneracion’s works also differ vastly from that of the two other artists, preferring to draw imagery from more symbolic and conceptual visual cultures. Mga Galos, does not only depict a two-dimensional portrait of batterings: the artist rips the canvas in places, rendering the medium a battleground where literal scars and wounds exist. Painting for the Blind, is by itself a work literally accessible for the visually-impaired, as it integrates a still to be deciphered text spelled out in Braille into the canvas surface. The artist does not contain himself within two-dimensional imagery, and instead rips and twists the canvas surface to evoke the twists and turns of emotion and thought. The three-dimensional character of the work renders it a tactile, apart from visual, experience.
3 Man Show opens at 6:30 PM on October 3, Tuesday at Mag:net Gallery ABS, The Loop, ELJ Center, ABSCBN Compound, Quezon City. The show will run up to the 31st of the month. For inquiries, please contact 4100995 (Genevieve) or send email to magnetcafekatips@yahoo.com.ph or visit www.magnet.com.ph
* * *
This release was sent by artist-entrepreneur, Rock Drilon, for my uncle and cousin's exhibit next week. I do hope to see art lovers there!
Roy, Ian, and Mik Veneracion
Mag:net Gallery ABS
3-31 October 2006
3 Man Show by the Veneracions at Mag:net
Father and sons Roy, Ian, and Mik Veneracion exhibit their individual works at Mag:net this October. Entitled 3 Man Show, the exhibit features their recent works on canvas and runs from October 3 to 31, 2006 at Mag:net ABS-CBN located at The Loop, ELJ Center, ABS-CBN Compound, Quezon City.
For his part, Roy Veneracion exhibits recent works representing what the artist terms as syncreticism—a merging of abstraction and figurative imagery, superimposing and bringing together traditionally opposing domains in a singular composition. In the work entitled Logic of Nightmares (mixed media on canvas), Roy Veneracion concocts visual allegories for contemporary imperial domination from associative images. Set against an inchoate backdrop of abstraction are a cast characters culled from pop culture, history, and contemporary events: Superman, Osama Bin Laden masquerading as an Assyrian God, the now-nonexistent Twin Towers of the September 11 attacks, revolutionary Katipuneros, cowboys and Indians. In Gabi ng mga Bituin sa Munting Japan ni Vincent, Roy Veneracion recalls a recurrent image in his previous works: the unmistakeable visage of Vincent Van Gogh, perhaps an unconscious reference to the latter’s fierce expressionism and introspective vigor which the artist draws inspiration from.
Painter-musician-actor Ian Veneracion, in contrast, exhibits recent works rendered solely in abstraction: inchoate, viscuous shapes flowing into space, space merging into matter. The translucence and luminiscence of the works speak of the artist’s pursuit of the intuitive and the formal in his works.
Mik Veneracion’s works also differ vastly from that of the two other artists, preferring to draw imagery from more symbolic and conceptual visual cultures. Mga Galos, does not only depict a two-dimensional portrait of batterings: the artist rips the canvas in places, rendering the medium a battleground where literal scars and wounds exist. Painting for the Blind, is by itself a work literally accessible for the visually-impaired, as it integrates a still to be deciphered text spelled out in Braille into the canvas surface. The artist does not contain himself within two-dimensional imagery, and instead rips and twists the canvas surface to evoke the twists and turns of emotion and thought. The three-dimensional character of the work renders it a tactile, apart from visual, experience.
3 Man Show opens at 6:30 PM on October 3, Tuesday at Mag:net Gallery ABS, The Loop, ELJ Center, ABSCBN Compound, Quezon City. The show will run up to the 31st of the month. For inquiries, please contact 4100995 (Genevieve) or send email to magnetcafekatips@yahoo.com.ph or visit www.magnet.com.ph
* * *
This release was sent by artist-entrepreneur, Rock Drilon, for my uncle and cousin's exhibit next week. I do hope to see art lovers there!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
When you're a writer, or claim to be one, anything can be fodder for good writing. A conversation with a cab driver, a pen you picked up on the street, a hot cup of tea, a stolen moment, a memory--anything can trigger that flow of words, as an open wound that has just been punctured again. And, yes, the pain of writing can hurt as much as a wound--but so does the pain of not writing.
When I was freelancing, I was writing so much that it already started to hurt. I associated writing with work, and so I avoided it altogether on weekends and during my free time. That's how my blog went comatose.
But now that I'm spending more time meeting people, seeking and closing deals, attending events, and actually going out, I'm discovering once again that there is so much to write about--and neither enough time nor energy to put my thoughts down!
So I'm using my re-discovery of the world and of words to make some changes in my blogs. Beginning today, 24 September, A Spoonful of Sugar will contain regular "spoonsful" of insight and inspiration--just short perk-me-uppers to get the words out there. On the other hands, Life Cravings will contain longer pieces covering all the other spices of life. I am working on another blog, Niña's Notebook (to be published soon), for creative fiction and non-fiction pieces.
The question now is: With so much writing to be done, how does one balance working, writing, living, and simply enjoying the view? =)
When I was freelancing, I was writing so much that it already started to hurt. I associated writing with work, and so I avoided it altogether on weekends and during my free time. That's how my blog went comatose.
But now that I'm spending more time meeting people, seeking and closing deals, attending events, and actually going out, I'm discovering once again that there is so much to write about--and neither enough time nor energy to put my thoughts down!
So I'm using my re-discovery of the world and of words to make some changes in my blogs. Beginning today, 24 September, A Spoonful of Sugar will contain regular "spoonsful" of insight and inspiration--just short perk-me-uppers to get the words out there. On the other hands, Life Cravings will contain longer pieces covering all the other spices of life. I am working on another blog, Niña's Notebook (to be published soon), for creative fiction and non-fiction pieces.
The question now is: With so much writing to be done, how does one balance working, writing, living, and simply enjoying the view? =)
Saturday, September 23, 2006
A Spoonful of Sugar 2006, no. 5
Living the Dream
By Niña Terol
Every week, we have what we call in our office, “Show & Tell.” It’s a learning session where one member of the staff makes a 15-minute presentation to the rest of the team about a particular topic. For the first round of Show & Tells, we instructed the team to make a presentation about anything they wanted to talk about—be it serious and work-related, or light and whimsical. It would be their opportunity to express themselves and allow the other members of the team to get to know them better. The subsequent Show & Tells would have to be topics related to our work and our industry.
The following piece was my particular contribution to Show & Tell. I felt that, as managing director of the company, it was my duty and obligation to help each member of the team, in Stephen Covey’s words, “find his [or her] own voice.” An organization cannot achieve excellence until it taps into the passion of each member of the team and uses that passion toward the good of the entire organization. There is greatness inside each of us; it just needs someone or something to unlock it, sometimes.
I’ve edited the piece a bit for readability, and I hope that, by sharing this with you, you would also find the inspiration and the impetus to live the dream…
In her book, Surreality, Carissa Villacorta writes: “In New York, dreams come true on a daily basis. I used to be a dreamer, but New York made me a realist. I guess this is where I made the jump from dreaming the life to living the dream…”
I used to dream a lot when I was much younger. I dreamed of being a singer, a Broadway actress, a novelist, a lawyer, a political lobbyist (or a politician), a diplomat in the United Nations, and editor-in-chief of my very own magazine. I used to hole myself up in my mom’s room with either a typewriter (I bought my very own typewriter when I was about nine), our computer, or our videocam. I would write stories, program simple games (the first “game” I programmed was named “Telly”), or animate my Lego toys or my chalk drawings. My mind was always working, always dreaming.
Somewhere along the way I realized that I can achieve anything I wanted, as long as I put my heart and soul into it. My life now is the product of about 10 years of patient dreaming, writing, working, stumbling and then picking myself up, and learning along the way. Like Carissa, I can say that I have made the jump from dreaming the life to living the dream.
What I’m about to share aren’t “secrets for success”; in my book, I’m not even there yet. And nobody can even claim to have the monopoly over those so-called “success secrets.” The truth is, anyone can live the dream—and that’s no secret. What I’m about to share are lessons that I’ve learned about dreaming… and then making them real.
1. Acknowledge your hopes, dreams, desires, and passions.
I’ve been writing for as long as I could remember. Journals, short stories, scripts, reports, newsletters, websites… name it, as long as there was some writing involved, I tried to get into it. So when I was discerning about my true path shortly before I resigned from my last job, I realized that I had to stop denying my true passion and just take the plunge into the writing world already. There have been many ups and downs since then, but I’ve never regretted my decision to be where I am now.
2. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, as well as trends and patterns, in your life.
It wasn’t just writing that I loved. For some reason, I was always thrust into a leadership position wherever I was. At home, I was the big sister and the “little mommy.” In school, I was almost always a project leader or a class officer. Even when we were just playing games, my playmates would ask me to take charge of the game.
I tried to shy away from that role, but I soon saw my purpose for being in charge wasn’t so much to give orders or to boss people around. My mission for leading people, as Stephen Covey put it so well, was to help others find their own voice and reach for their own stars. So I decided to step up and swallow both the good and the bad of being in front and center, because I know that it will serve a higher purpose for more than just myself.
3. Visualize yourself in your desired state—now. Be specific!
I was an extremely grade-conscious student. (I would never admit it then, but it’s been seven years since college graduation, so I guess I can admit it now!) When I was in college, I used to make a replica of our grade report and input the grades that I wanted to get for each subject. Then I hung it over my bed as a daily reminder of my goals. When that worked, I realized that it does help to write down your goals.
Since then, I’ve been making what I call “vision art”—my dreams and visions of myself as depicted in scrapbook art, in paintings, in poetry, and in similar pieces. At one point, I even had a vision wall! (Now I’m working on a “vision article”—a feature article written by someone about me when I’m in my 40s.)
It sounds cheesy, but it does help to visualize your goals. What your mind sees through your eyes, your mind can create through your physical self. (Remember, an architect always needs a blueprint before he begins building anything…)
4. Internalize what you need in order to get what you want.
At the start of each sem, I would make three projections of my grades: a best-case, a worst-case, and a most-likely scenario. (Again, this was something I would never have admitted to anyone.) Based on those, I knew how to play around with my grades and my allowed cuts in order to get closest to the QPI (quality point index) that I was aiming for. If was weak in one subject, I knew that I had to work harder on the other subjects in order to pull my grades up. If campaign season was coming up (I campaigned for the Student Council four times and won three times—the first time I lost by three votes), I knew that I had to attend all my classes at the start of the sem in order to save up all my cuts for when I had to campaign.
Knowing what I wanted, and knowing what I needed in order to get there, helped me make crucial decisions at crucial points in my life. Although my chosen example was about school, this applies to me in other areas of my life as well.
5. Learn to see the signs all around you. Remember that there is no such thing as a mere coincidence. Everything happens for a reason.
Now for the mushy stuff. My relationship with Paul is the culmination of a strange and exhilarating string of coincidences. We bumped into each other at the Zen garden of the AIM on a night when I wasn’t supposed to be there and he just happened to be there. I painted a flamenco picture shortly before running into him, and I showed him the painting during our second date, just when he was about to tell me that maybe I’d enjoy dancing at the Centro Flamenco, where he used to play. I asked him if he knew Nicholas Gunn, a New Age flutist whom very few people know of and whose music reminded me of his, just when he was looking for someone who knew Nicholas Gunn and who could lend him the CD. Our moms knew each other and our dads have the same name. We have the same birthday, headed the same project in college, and even took the same minor (Spanish).
Things like these happen all the time, sure, but if they happen in succession—and if they help you in answering something that you’ve been discerning about, then you’d better sit up and listen.
6. Be open to the opportunities that Life will throw your way.
Paulo Coelho, the best-selling author of The Alchemist, wrote, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Opportunities are the Universe’s way of conspiring for you. If you know how to recognize the opportunities and see the signs around you, then you’ll have a greater chance of following your true path and fulfilling your dream, your destiny.
But just because the Universe will help you doesn’t mean that you should be passive. Being open to opportunities also means looking for them and being prepared for them. Just as a farmer tills the soil, plants the seed, waters the ground, and lets the sunshine in before he waits for the plant to grow, so must we prepare ourselves so that when opportunity strikes we will be equipped to take it.
7. Discern! Learn to say NO…
Discernment doesn’t just mean saying yes to the opportunities, but also saying no to those “opportunities” that will lead you away from your true path.
Just as I was about to take the leap into freelancing, I was referred by some friends to a large multinational insurance firm. I went through a rigorous recruitment process, just for the heck of it, and at 23 was the youngest candidate to be interviewed by the company’s president, a Japanese who needed a translator. I was offered 40 grand basic plus commissions, but I didn’t take it. I knew that I wasn’t meant to be in the insurance industry, so I politely told them that I needed to be fair to everyone concerned and go another route.
When you’re 23 and single and you earn 40 grand, it’s almost like winning the lottery. It was very, very difficult to say no to the offer—especially since as a budding freelancer I had no savings, no clients yet, and no financial fallback. But I knew that I will forever regret it if I didn’t begin my writing career then.
8. BUT… Don’t close your doors!
You need to know when to jump, when to stay put, and when to give others a second chance. The first time Ronald [Yao, Group CEO of First Media Manila], Mark [Phooi, Group CEO of First Media Group of Companies], and I talked about working together (in 2004) I was being offered a three-to-six-month internship in Singapore—just like Milaine [Sy, a Filipina colleague now based in Singapore]—before coming back to the Philippines to work on the Discover series. They interviewed me a couple of times, communicated the offer, and even set an approximate date for my departure. I had only three weeks to prepare, and I was very, very excited but also very, very nervous.
The three weeks turned into three months, and, before I knew it, the company’s direction had changed. It would’ve been easy for anyone to get disheartened and to discount the thought of ever working with them again, but I told myself that maybe it was the Universe’s way of saying I wasn’t ready for the opportunity yet. I resolved to let us both go our own ways first while I prepared myself to be an entrepreneur. I knew that, someday, somehow, a similar opportunity would surface.
That whole intermission took around two years… so imagine if I had closed my doors then! We wouldn’t be where we all are now!
9. Be willing to work hard and sacrifice for your dream.
The higher the goal, the higher the jump. The higher the jump, the harder the training. The harder the training, the more painful the bruises. You’ll know if something is what you really want if you’re willing to take so much pain just to make it real.
On my first month of freelancing I had no computer at home, just one client that paid peanuts, and, by practical standards, very slim chances of making it in the real world. But instead of pushing myself down, I used my circumstances to pull myself up. I accessed all my writing assignments from the office computer during lunchtime (never during office hours), worked on all my articles by hand at night, and then typed them in the office computer the next lunchtime. I sacrificed food and rest in order to be a writer.
By the time that I had already established myself as a freelancer, my family suffered its worst financial slump ever. We lost our landline, Internet connection, and the car, and there was no income for rent, basic necessities, or my brother’s tuition. I had to push myself harder—working 20 hours a day, every day of the year, seven projects at a time—to pull myself and my family up. In time I was able to triple or even quadruple my income, restore all the utilities and pay for ALL the bills at home (including my brother’s tuition and my mom’s transportation and allowance), and get the projects done on time. Sure, I had no social life and almost turned into a skeleton, but that was the price I had to pay for those whom I loved.
10. Look for mentors.
We go through life (or at least this life) just once, so it’s important to seek guidance from those who’ve been there longer than us. At each stage in my young life I always made it a point to connect with someone who was older, wiser, and more experienced than I was.
At home, I spent a lot of time with my ninang, our next-door neighbor who babysat us whenever my mom was out of the country. I also made it a point to spend as much as I could with my parents (everyone will tell you I’m both mommy and daddy’s girl). In school, I bonded with my sophomore high school English teacher and my college Philosophy, Spanish, and Political Science professors, who all somehow guided me in making very important life decisions. In my early career, I looked to one of the HR managers, as well as to one of the senior executives handling the Ayala Young Leaders Congress, for advice about the corporate jungle. Now it’s Ronald and Mark whom I consider my mentors.
The point here is that there will always be something that we do not know, and always someone who could show us the way. The most important thing is to be teachable.
11. Surround yourself with like-minded people.
“Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are,” goes the saying. It’s trite, but it’s true. Your friends are your lifeline to the social world—they are your connections, they form your network. To a certain extent, they define what you do, where you go, and what you talk about. The friends that you have now will be your clients, colleagues, and peers 20, 30, 40 years down the road. So, be very careful about whom you want to define your social environment for the next half-century or so.
I’ve been very, very blessed to have the friends that I do. My high school best friends are all driven, ambitious women with causes larger than themselves—one works for Metrobank Foundation and another, for the Supreme Court. (You can imagine what our conversations must be like.) My college barkada (which includes Candice!) comprised officers of the student council, school orgs, and the school COMELEC. [Candice Lopez-Quimpo is now my Account Director.] A number of them already occupy important government posts. My work buddies are either certified, award-winning “young leaders” or are spearheading their own enterprises and causes. Everywhere I look around me, people are working to make a difference. They help to fuel my passions.
It’s not that you should discriminate against those who are less than stellar. But you need to be each other’s source of motivation—when someone’s feeling low, don’t allow them to stay there; you need to push and pull each other up!
12. Keep on dreaming!
Once you’ve started the cycle of dreaming and then making the dreams real, it’s hard to stop. There are always new heights to conquer, new dreams to pursue. What’s important is for each of us to stay true to our inner selves and to make our dreams reflect our higher purpose—we should never allow just any “dream”(especially the physical, material ones) to take precedence over our true calling, our mission.
I’m a dreamer—always have been, always will be. And for as long as my mind can build castles in the clouds, the rest of me will work to build firm foundations under my feet.
Here’s hoping that you, too, will find your dream—and then live it.
Living the Dream
By Niña Terol
Every week, we have what we call in our office, “Show & Tell.” It’s a learning session where one member of the staff makes a 15-minute presentation to the rest of the team about a particular topic. For the first round of Show & Tells, we instructed the team to make a presentation about anything they wanted to talk about—be it serious and work-related, or light and whimsical. It would be their opportunity to express themselves and allow the other members of the team to get to know them better. The subsequent Show & Tells would have to be topics related to our work and our industry.
The following piece was my particular contribution to Show & Tell. I felt that, as managing director of the company, it was my duty and obligation to help each member of the team, in Stephen Covey’s words, “find his [or her] own voice.” An organization cannot achieve excellence until it taps into the passion of each member of the team and uses that passion toward the good of the entire organization. There is greatness inside each of us; it just needs someone or something to unlock it, sometimes.
I’ve edited the piece a bit for readability, and I hope that, by sharing this with you, you would also find the inspiration and the impetus to live the dream…
* * * * *
In her book, Surreality, Carissa Villacorta writes: “In New York, dreams come true on a daily basis. I used to be a dreamer, but New York made me a realist. I guess this is where I made the jump from dreaming the life to living the dream…”
I used to dream a lot when I was much younger. I dreamed of being a singer, a Broadway actress, a novelist, a lawyer, a political lobbyist (or a politician), a diplomat in the United Nations, and editor-in-chief of my very own magazine. I used to hole myself up in my mom’s room with either a typewriter (I bought my very own typewriter when I was about nine), our computer, or our videocam. I would write stories, program simple games (the first “game” I programmed was named “Telly”), or animate my Lego toys or my chalk drawings. My mind was always working, always dreaming.
Somewhere along the way I realized that I can achieve anything I wanted, as long as I put my heart and soul into it. My life now is the product of about 10 years of patient dreaming, writing, working, stumbling and then picking myself up, and learning along the way. Like Carissa, I can say that I have made the jump from dreaming the life to living the dream.
What I’m about to share aren’t “secrets for success”; in my book, I’m not even there yet. And nobody can even claim to have the monopoly over those so-called “success secrets.” The truth is, anyone can live the dream—and that’s no secret. What I’m about to share are lessons that I’ve learned about dreaming… and then making them real.
1. Acknowledge your hopes, dreams, desires, and passions.
I’ve been writing for as long as I could remember. Journals, short stories, scripts, reports, newsletters, websites… name it, as long as there was some writing involved, I tried to get into it. So when I was discerning about my true path shortly before I resigned from my last job, I realized that I had to stop denying my true passion and just take the plunge into the writing world already. There have been many ups and downs since then, but I’ve never regretted my decision to be where I am now.
2. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, as well as trends and patterns, in your life.
It wasn’t just writing that I loved. For some reason, I was always thrust into a leadership position wherever I was. At home, I was the big sister and the “little mommy.” In school, I was almost always a project leader or a class officer. Even when we were just playing games, my playmates would ask me to take charge of the game.
I tried to shy away from that role, but I soon saw my purpose for being in charge wasn’t so much to give orders or to boss people around. My mission for leading people, as Stephen Covey put it so well, was to help others find their own voice and reach for their own stars. So I decided to step up and swallow both the good and the bad of being in front and center, because I know that it will serve a higher purpose for more than just myself.
3. Visualize yourself in your desired state—now. Be specific!
I was an extremely grade-conscious student. (I would never admit it then, but it’s been seven years since college graduation, so I guess I can admit it now!) When I was in college, I used to make a replica of our grade report and input the grades that I wanted to get for each subject. Then I hung it over my bed as a daily reminder of my goals. When that worked, I realized that it does help to write down your goals.
Since then, I’ve been making what I call “vision art”—my dreams and visions of myself as depicted in scrapbook art, in paintings, in poetry, and in similar pieces. At one point, I even had a vision wall! (Now I’m working on a “vision article”—a feature article written by someone about me when I’m in my 40s.)
It sounds cheesy, but it does help to visualize your goals. What your mind sees through your eyes, your mind can create through your physical self. (Remember, an architect always needs a blueprint before he begins building anything…)
4. Internalize what you need in order to get what you want.
At the start of each sem, I would make three projections of my grades: a best-case, a worst-case, and a most-likely scenario. (Again, this was something I would never have admitted to anyone.) Based on those, I knew how to play around with my grades and my allowed cuts in order to get closest to the QPI (quality point index) that I was aiming for. If was weak in one subject, I knew that I had to work harder on the other subjects in order to pull my grades up. If campaign season was coming up (I campaigned for the Student Council four times and won three times—the first time I lost by three votes), I knew that I had to attend all my classes at the start of the sem in order to save up all my cuts for when I had to campaign.
Knowing what I wanted, and knowing what I needed in order to get there, helped me make crucial decisions at crucial points in my life. Although my chosen example was about school, this applies to me in other areas of my life as well.
5. Learn to see the signs all around you. Remember that there is no such thing as a mere coincidence. Everything happens for a reason.
Now for the mushy stuff. My relationship with Paul is the culmination of a strange and exhilarating string of coincidences. We bumped into each other at the Zen garden of the AIM on a night when I wasn’t supposed to be there and he just happened to be there. I painted a flamenco picture shortly before running into him, and I showed him the painting during our second date, just when he was about to tell me that maybe I’d enjoy dancing at the Centro Flamenco, where he used to play. I asked him if he knew Nicholas Gunn, a New Age flutist whom very few people know of and whose music reminded me of his, just when he was looking for someone who knew Nicholas Gunn and who could lend him the CD. Our moms knew each other and our dads have the same name. We have the same birthday, headed the same project in college, and even took the same minor (Spanish).
Things like these happen all the time, sure, but if they happen in succession—and if they help you in answering something that you’ve been discerning about, then you’d better sit up and listen.
6. Be open to the opportunities that Life will throw your way.
Paulo Coelho, the best-selling author of The Alchemist, wrote, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Opportunities are the Universe’s way of conspiring for you. If you know how to recognize the opportunities and see the signs around you, then you’ll have a greater chance of following your true path and fulfilling your dream, your destiny.
But just because the Universe will help you doesn’t mean that you should be passive. Being open to opportunities also means looking for them and being prepared for them. Just as a farmer tills the soil, plants the seed, waters the ground, and lets the sunshine in before he waits for the plant to grow, so must we prepare ourselves so that when opportunity strikes we will be equipped to take it.
7. Discern! Learn to say NO…
Discernment doesn’t just mean saying yes to the opportunities, but also saying no to those “opportunities” that will lead you away from your true path.
Just as I was about to take the leap into freelancing, I was referred by some friends to a large multinational insurance firm. I went through a rigorous recruitment process, just for the heck of it, and at 23 was the youngest candidate to be interviewed by the company’s president, a Japanese who needed a translator. I was offered 40 grand basic plus commissions, but I didn’t take it. I knew that I wasn’t meant to be in the insurance industry, so I politely told them that I needed to be fair to everyone concerned and go another route.
When you’re 23 and single and you earn 40 grand, it’s almost like winning the lottery. It was very, very difficult to say no to the offer—especially since as a budding freelancer I had no savings, no clients yet, and no financial fallback. But I knew that I will forever regret it if I didn’t begin my writing career then.
8. BUT… Don’t close your doors!
You need to know when to jump, when to stay put, and when to give others a second chance. The first time Ronald [Yao, Group CEO of First Media Manila], Mark [Phooi, Group CEO of First Media Group of Companies], and I talked about working together (in 2004) I was being offered a three-to-six-month internship in Singapore—just like Milaine [Sy, a Filipina colleague now based in Singapore]—before coming back to the Philippines to work on the Discover series. They interviewed me a couple of times, communicated the offer, and even set an approximate date for my departure. I had only three weeks to prepare, and I was very, very excited but also very, very nervous.
The three weeks turned into three months, and, before I knew it, the company’s direction had changed. It would’ve been easy for anyone to get disheartened and to discount the thought of ever working with them again, but I told myself that maybe it was the Universe’s way of saying I wasn’t ready for the opportunity yet. I resolved to let us both go our own ways first while I prepared myself to be an entrepreneur. I knew that, someday, somehow, a similar opportunity would surface.
That whole intermission took around two years… so imagine if I had closed my doors then! We wouldn’t be where we all are now!
9. Be willing to work hard and sacrifice for your dream.
The higher the goal, the higher the jump. The higher the jump, the harder the training. The harder the training, the more painful the bruises. You’ll know if something is what you really want if you’re willing to take so much pain just to make it real.
On my first month of freelancing I had no computer at home, just one client that paid peanuts, and, by practical standards, very slim chances of making it in the real world. But instead of pushing myself down, I used my circumstances to pull myself up. I accessed all my writing assignments from the office computer during lunchtime (never during office hours), worked on all my articles by hand at night, and then typed them in the office computer the next lunchtime. I sacrificed food and rest in order to be a writer.
By the time that I had already established myself as a freelancer, my family suffered its worst financial slump ever. We lost our landline, Internet connection, and the car, and there was no income for rent, basic necessities, or my brother’s tuition. I had to push myself harder—working 20 hours a day, every day of the year, seven projects at a time—to pull myself and my family up. In time I was able to triple or even quadruple my income, restore all the utilities and pay for ALL the bills at home (including my brother’s tuition and my mom’s transportation and allowance), and get the projects done on time. Sure, I had no social life and almost turned into a skeleton, but that was the price I had to pay for those whom I loved.
10. Look for mentors.
We go through life (or at least this life) just once, so it’s important to seek guidance from those who’ve been there longer than us. At each stage in my young life I always made it a point to connect with someone who was older, wiser, and more experienced than I was.
At home, I spent a lot of time with my ninang, our next-door neighbor who babysat us whenever my mom was out of the country. I also made it a point to spend as much as I could with my parents (everyone will tell you I’m both mommy and daddy’s girl). In school, I bonded with my sophomore high school English teacher and my college Philosophy, Spanish, and Political Science professors, who all somehow guided me in making very important life decisions. In my early career, I looked to one of the HR managers, as well as to one of the senior executives handling the Ayala Young Leaders Congress, for advice about the corporate jungle. Now it’s Ronald and Mark whom I consider my mentors.
The point here is that there will always be something that we do not know, and always someone who could show us the way. The most important thing is to be teachable.
11. Surround yourself with like-minded people.
“Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are,” goes the saying. It’s trite, but it’s true. Your friends are your lifeline to the social world—they are your connections, they form your network. To a certain extent, they define what you do, where you go, and what you talk about. The friends that you have now will be your clients, colleagues, and peers 20, 30, 40 years down the road. So, be very careful about whom you want to define your social environment for the next half-century or so.
I’ve been very, very blessed to have the friends that I do. My high school best friends are all driven, ambitious women with causes larger than themselves—one works for Metrobank Foundation and another, for the Supreme Court. (You can imagine what our conversations must be like.) My college barkada (which includes Candice!) comprised officers of the student council, school orgs, and the school COMELEC. [Candice Lopez-Quimpo is now my Account Director.] A number of them already occupy important government posts. My work buddies are either certified, award-winning “young leaders” or are spearheading their own enterprises and causes. Everywhere I look around me, people are working to make a difference. They help to fuel my passions.
It’s not that you should discriminate against those who are less than stellar. But you need to be each other’s source of motivation—when someone’s feeling low, don’t allow them to stay there; you need to push and pull each other up!
12. Keep on dreaming!
Once you’ve started the cycle of dreaming and then making the dreams real, it’s hard to stop. There are always new heights to conquer, new dreams to pursue. What’s important is for each of us to stay true to our inner selves and to make our dreams reflect our higher purpose—we should never allow just any “dream”(especially the physical, material ones) to take precedence over our true calling, our mission.
I’m a dreamer—always have been, always will be. And for as long as my mind can build castles in the clouds, the rest of me will work to build firm foundations under my feet.
Here’s hoping that you, too, will find your dream—and then live it.
* * * * *
P.S. This piece comes with some Powerpoint slides that may be shared with others. If you want to request for an email with these slides, please send me a private email at nina.terol@gmail.com. Let's help keep our dreams alive!
Saturday, September 02, 2006
A Spoonful of Sugar 2006 No. 4
Surreality Soon
By Niña Terol
“In ‘surreality,’ I see movement. It’s the process of the surreal turning into reality. The fantasy becoming true-to-life. The prince charming embodied in a charming boy. The dream coming true.”
~ Carissa Villacorta
I remember the scene all too well: It was a balmy afternoon in 2001, and two girls were sitting on a café at the basement of their office building—magazines, scrapbooks, and visions of a writer’s life in tow.
The two girls were looking wistfully outside the café window where, facing them, was an old two-or-so-storey building that housed one of the Philippines’s largest magazine publishers. The young ladies—both “fun, fearless females”, as one of their favorite magazines would put it—were envisioning their exit from their respective humdrum jobs in that corporate giant in the ugly orange tower and their subsequent entry into a world of words, whirlwind romances with life, and real-life writing adventures.
The elder of the two had a beautifully crafted “vision scrapbook” and had already styled for some fashion magazines. The younger girl (just by a few months) had a saccharin online column and a chest of journals. Both attended writing classes, wrote each other letters, and dreamed of New York.
Five years, some romances, and many adventures later, the two girls are living their dreams, weaving magic into their words, and celebrating success.
Being the younger of the two, I can’t help but be amazed and inspired by how my long-lost “soul sister”, Carissa Villacorta, has risen from being a girl with big dreams to being a woman inspiring others to dream big. On September 12, Carissa is coming home (just for a short while, though) to launch her critically acclaimed book, Surreality, at the Filipinas Heritage Library. Of course, I’ve always known that this young, feisty, and spirited woman will live the life of her dreams; it just seems surreal (pun intended) that it’s really happening in this way—probably just the way Carissa wanted it.
Here is what her website (www.carissavillacorta.com) says about the book:
Contemporary life—in all its shapes, sizes and imperfections—is the subject of Surreality, Carissa Villacorta's acclaimed collection of essays. As a young Filipina surrounded by people, events and experiences in New York City, she ponders on life's mysteries: its joys, conflicts, and compromises. A big theme to take on, but she writes with specificity and simplicity; her heart is for the taking as she turns glib notions into impassioned dissertations for us, the living wounded. It's old-fashioned wisdom mingled with new-age wonder: a singular mix that Surreality brims with and basks in.
Surreality Soon
By Niña Terol
“In ‘surreality,’ I see movement. It’s the process of the surreal turning into reality. The fantasy becoming true-to-life. The prince charming embodied in a charming boy. The dream coming true.”
~ Carissa Villacorta
I remember the scene all too well: It was a balmy afternoon in 2001, and two girls were sitting on a café at the basement of their office building—magazines, scrapbooks, and visions of a writer’s life in tow.
The two girls were looking wistfully outside the café window where, facing them, was an old two-or-so-storey building that housed one of the Philippines’s largest magazine publishers. The young ladies—both “fun, fearless females”, as one of their favorite magazines would put it—were envisioning their exit from their respective humdrum jobs in that corporate giant in the ugly orange tower and their subsequent entry into a world of words, whirlwind romances with life, and real-life writing adventures.
The elder of the two had a beautifully crafted “vision scrapbook” and had already styled for some fashion magazines. The younger girl (just by a few months) had a saccharin online column and a chest of journals. Both attended writing classes, wrote each other letters, and dreamed of New York.
Five years, some romances, and many adventures later, the two girls are living their dreams, weaving magic into their words, and celebrating success.
Being the younger of the two, I can’t help but be amazed and inspired by how my long-lost “soul sister”, Carissa Villacorta, has risen from being a girl with big dreams to being a woman inspiring others to dream big. On September 12, Carissa is coming home (just for a short while, though) to launch her critically acclaimed book, Surreality, at the Filipinas Heritage Library. Of course, I’ve always known that this young, feisty, and spirited woman will live the life of her dreams; it just seems surreal (pun intended) that it’s really happening in this way—probably just the way Carissa wanted it.
Here is what her website (www.carissavillacorta.com) says about the book:
Contemporary life—in all its shapes, sizes and imperfections—is the subject of Surreality, Carissa Villacorta's acclaimed collection of essays. As a young Filipina surrounded by people, events and experiences in New York City, she ponders on life's mysteries: its joys, conflicts, and compromises. A big theme to take on, but she writes with specificity and simplicity; her heart is for the taking as she turns glib notions into impassioned dissertations for us, the living wounded. It's old-fashioned wisdom mingled with new-age wonder: a singular mix that Surreality brims with and basks in.
Carissa's sense of empathy is charming, natural and bountiful - the extraordinary gift that she shares with her readers. If her fan base is huge, it is no accident (see the reviews). The effusiveness of people's responses is matched only by Carissa's commitment to inspire her readers in rich, incandescent ways. As you yourself will discover by embracing this book, her words are the kind that we need to read in today's postmodern world. The only way to get a clearer, sharper view of life would be a visit to an eye doctor: no fun compared to the wit and vitality that Ms. Villacorta brings to each of her delightfully entertaining pieces.
If you’ve read my pieces and have enjoyed it sweet, sentimental flavor, you’re sure to love Carissa’s take on biting the Big Apple. She can be emotional without being mushy; she can be straightforward without being trite; she can declare what many of us cannot articulate. Clearly, there is a certain, New York-ish kind of wisdom that one cannot get anywhere else—and Carissa has lots of it to share.
So, dear friends, please join me in celebrating not only a dear friend’s success, but the success of a fellow Filipino in the global scene. Visit www.carissavillacorta.com to know more about the woman and her words, and be inspired to let your own dreams take flight.
If you’ve read my pieces and have enjoyed it sweet, sentimental flavor, you’re sure to love Carissa’s take on biting the Big Apple. She can be emotional without being mushy; she can be straightforward without being trite; she can declare what many of us cannot articulate. Clearly, there is a certain, New York-ish kind of wisdom that one cannot get anywhere else—and Carissa has lots of it to share.
So, dear friends, please join me in celebrating not only a dear friend’s success, but the success of a fellow Filipino in the global scene. Visit www.carissavillacorta.com to know more about the woman and her words, and be inspired to let your own dreams take flight.
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